I have not posted for a while, we have been super busy. We purchased our first home the end of last month, so we have been busy packing, cleaning, and unpacking. We found a four bedroom, 2 bathroom house in Provo. It has a huge backyard, so now I can send the boys outside. I will post pictures of the house later.
Alexis turned one in August, boy how time flies!!
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| And West turned three |
I am so far behind I don't even know where to start. We have been so so busy, I have at least one appointment or meeting for West a week, and in between the meetings I am trying to work on the plans and objectives that West's OT and Developmental specialist have given me. We are seeing some improvements in West. He is starting to go to nursery without screaming and crying, which is a big improvement, but he is having problems being overly stimulated with light and sound, and his sleeping schedule is so crazy. He has a hard time with the sound of running water, the vacuum, and fans. They scare him and he just starts to cry. He is also very very aggressive with Alexis.
He is constantly pushing, hitting, or sitting on her. I honestly can't leave the room to throw a piece of garbage away, without him hurting her. It is hard to see, but when he comes near her, she starts to cry. I have tried so many different things, but nothing is working. Right now we are trying social stories, which are basically books that you write with someone's name in them and explain what they have to do in certain situations. Like "When West goes to sleep, West sleeps in his bed." I am really hoping that they will work.
Last night I woke up at three in the morning to West standing next to Aaron's side of the bed breathing really loud, talk about creepy. I told Aaron that West was by his bed and he about had a heart attack. I held West for a while and then put him back to bed. I laid down in bed and told Aaron that I would not be surprised if West came back in our room, I rolled over, and there West was, staring at me, I almost died. He was a ninja. I did not hear or see him come in the room, he must of followed me, what a goof ball he is.
In other news, I was released as the Relief Society President 2 weeks ago. That has reduced my stress level a lot. Alexis has also started to scoot, and she is giving the boys a run for their money.
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| West is Wearing a Halloween costume, that I tied around his neck for a cape |
Here are a few things that happened recently:
Dirty tub:
A couple of days ago I was giving the kids a bath, I took Alexis out of the tub, and was getting her dressed, when I heard a splash. I ran back into the bathroom to find the floor covered in water, thank you West. It took me five towels to clean up all of the water. After I cleaned up the water I went back to finish dressing Alexis, and Jack yells "Mom, West just pooped in the tub." I had already cleaned one of his poopy diapers, before he got in the tub, so I was thinking that it would not be too awful, but boy was I wrong. It was horrid! Jack's reaction was quite funny though. Jack stood up on his tip toes and said, "This is a bad reality, this is a bad reality." I think that Jack's reaction is the only reason I did not lose it!
Jack's Temper:
Monday I asked Jack to put his socks and shoes on, so that he could get ready for the bus. On his first attempt his toe got stuck, and he thought he was going to die, he started screaming, "I can't do it, mom do it for me." I told him that he needed to calm down by taking a deep breath, and try again. Well that did not work, he went crazy. I tried to ignore him, because when he gets like that, there is nothing I can do to calm him down. After about 5 minutes, he said, "Mom you know that picture on the wall of you and dad? Well you look really bad in it, you don't look nice at all." I took a deep breath and sent him to his room to cool down, Man he is four, where does he come up with this stuff? Needless to say he screamed and cried for a good twenty minutes.
At least Alexis is calm!
Aaron: "West who is your favorite superhero?"
West: "Mom!"
Aaron: "What is her super power?"
West: "Eating"
It is a good thing he is so young, or I might have given him a whopping!!
Yesterday West was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, and the doctor told us that most likely Jack has it as well. We only took West to the psychologists, but he asked about our other children. We were told that aspergers is inherited, and is more common in boys than girls, and if one of your boys has it, then more than likely your others will too. Aspergers is an autism spectrum disorder, that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.
The symptoms West has:
*Easily frustrated- when West tries to do anything and it does not go his way, he completely melts down, sobs, cries, and he can't be comforted. I try to hold him and he just wants down.
*West hates change, he just can't handle it. When I want him to do something other than what he is doing he completely melts down.
*Taking him anywhere is a chore, I never know how long he will last. I honestly can't remember the last time I took him to the store without him throwing a huge tantrum. I dread taking him anywhere, even though I want too.
*West is very anxious in social situations, whenever we go to the mall to play, he basically just sits on my lap, I can tell he is very uncomfortable. When he first entered nursery he sat on the nursery leaders lap for 4 months, before he would get down and play.
*He has a very hard time looking people in the eyes, again very uncomfortable for him.
*When he plays with a toy he is very focused and it is hard to pull him away.
*Rocks when he is angry or frustrated.
*He hates light touch.
*Wants to play by himself, and there is only one specific way to play with each toy. He will line his toys up and if they are touched by anymore, the world has ended.
Jack exhibits a lot of those qualities, but since he talked early and interacts really well with others, I never ever even thought that he had any problems, especially aspergers. When the psychologists said he probably did I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
For a while Aaron and I had known that there was something different with West, but we were not quite sure what it was, but I never suspected anything with Jack. After the psychologists explained things to us, a lot of Jacks actions, and melt downs seemed to fit as well. Anytime someone touches his toys he dies, and I can't calm him down. He wants me to play with him, but only a specific way. And apparently a lot of aspergers kids talk early, and are really smart. But not only do they talk early, they have one-sided conversations, and tend to be up in your face, which describes Jack perfectly.
I knew that West was having problems, but not having any idea that Jack did, really hit me hard. My boys have been really hard, but I thought for the most part that they were just being boys. I have wondered what I was doing wrong, why don't they just understand me, and listen. Most days I am at my wits end, and I hate to say it, but most days I lose it with them. I am a very patient person, and I could just not understand where my patients had gone. Now knowing that there has been something else at work kind of out of my control and helped.
We are going to be putting West into a program for kids with aspergers, and looking at getting him into a special pre-k that starts at age three. We were told that if we start early, and work with our boys, that they should be able to go to normal elementary schools, and will be able to adjust. They will have aspergers their whole life, but we can manage their symptoms, and they should be able to live normal lives. Knowledge is power, and I am so grateful that I know what is going on and will be given tools to help my boys and Aaron and I. I am also so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, who are constantly comforting me, and for supportive family and friends.
Last night before taking the boys to bed Aaron told them he loved them:
Aaron: "Jack, I love you more than candy."
Jack: "Dad, I love candy more than you."
Aaron: "West, I love you more than cake."
West: "Oh"
It was pretty funny, poor Aaron.
